Just popped in to my local M&S foodstore for a few things, when I remembered that I need a five pack of underwear. So carrying full basket, I trundle to that section. Why is it that the size I want is never immediately to hand. Dum, dum, dum ah there's one, size .... - you don't need to know that - grab and throw in basket. Off to the checkout.
There I am packing food into the bag that I've dutifuly brought, when I see the readout, £12... what? there's nothing in there costs that much. "Sorry, how much is that", I say". "£12" replies the checkout lady, holding up the underwear packet.
"£12!!!", says me. "For plain bog standard black panties? Are you sure??" She holds the packet out towards me and moves closer to, with a look thrown over her shoulder at the waiting queue.
"You see Madam", she says despite the fact she knows me, "These are the VPL Tactel ones". For a moment I thought she said tactile. What M&S are now selling Ann Summer? I guess I looked none the wiser. So she leans even closer and utters as near to a whisper as she can manage.
"These are No Visible Pantyline and made from super soft fabric". Ah, yes I have heard of "No Visible Pantyline" somehwere before, but up to now I've never bothered. And all I wanted was M&S bog standard panties in black that I have been buying for years, cost about £8. £4 extra pounds for a No Visible Pantyline. Hmmmmm.
Oh what the hell. Ok I say, and she smiles that "you didn't know what NVP" was, when really it was the Tactel pronounced tactile that really threw me, that and the price. And I just want to get out of there. There is now a queue backing up all the way to the shelves with very curious looks on their faces.
Note to self, never buy underwear from the food store again.