Monday, 20 August 2012

Have you read........?

If I had a £1 for every time I've been asked in recent months, "Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?" I'd have loads of money to buy books that are on my wish list.

So I popped into my local WH Smith early one morning when the shop was quiet and my two favourite female shop assistants were there.

Me: Morning, just wanted to ask what's all the talk about "Fifty Shades of Grey?

Trixie and Dixie: (looking at each other and in unison) Oooooooooooh!!  (eyebrows raised) You really want to know?

Me: Yes (hesitantly because now I'm wondering, why that response)

Trixie: Well, my dear, (comes out from behind counter and ushers me with one arm raised showing the amazing art work that are her nails) come with me....

I follow her to a cardboard stand where lies in wait, many copies of "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Trixie: Open the book at page 184.  (I think thats the page, not sure now.)

So I do and read.  And I go     "....  hmm ..... ok..... well.... right....  " finish reading and put book back on shelf.  And look up at Trixie.

Me:  well.....  thanks for your help. 

And we both burst out laughing.

So I exit shop and go straight to cafe for my latte.  Sitting sipping my latte and reading the newspaper, along comes my friend whom I will call Mrs G.  We chat for a while and then she turns to me with those big baby blues of hers and says "Have you read "Fifty Shades of Grey?"  "No", I reply.  "Well.... no.... that's not exactly true, I have read page 184".  And I go on to explain the little scene earlier. 

(Now Mrs G is a retired lady, in her seventies, elegant who puts some of us younger ones to shame.)  So she pops her shopping bag on her chair and gets up... I assume she is going to the Ladies...  but no....  "... just going to pop into Smiths for a min", she mumbles and I, jokingly say...  ".. remember it's page 184".  Mrs G smiles and strides off.

Five minutes later she is back, Smiths plastic bag in hand, and puts bag in shopping bag.  "I bought it", she whispers conspiratorally and I nearly choke on my mouthful of coffee.  "And you can read it when I'm finished".


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