Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Finding......comes before doing and reading. And a poem

Speaking of To Do lists. Mine seem to begin with "Find" at the moment. Last week reading iHanna's post about trying to let go of her blog and get some real writing done; a thought suddenly flashed through my mind that somewhere, there's a poem I wrote, a long time ago, about wanting to write. I know it's on a sheet of paper, but where is that sheet of paper?

My visual memory throws up a flash that it was once a folded bookmark in Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones. Ah. Maybe. But where's that book now? So before I forget, I put it on the to do list. And then there's the voucher for a free Massage that I need before I go on holiday. Add that to the list. Ah, yes and those two cakes I need to bake, but where is that wonderful recipe book that came free with the newspaper? So much to find, before I get to "To Do".

So I sat down to read a book; really getting into it I was, and then images flash into my mind. Writing Down the Bones is right on the top of the book shelf, and the Baking Book is under a pile of cookery books in my kitchen. Dropped riveting book and went immediately to find my lost "sheep". And there they were.

Now what do "I Do" first, bake or cancel? Or "find" the massage voucher? Or write.....

Here's the poem that's on that poor piece of paper.

Wanting to Write....

Wanting to write
you've a feeling of 49 percent
the prompting of guilt

wanting to write
you're hanging suspended
in silence before thunder
your don't breathe and you can't hear

wanting to write
you go for the warmth of wood
in the familar kitchen
carpeted with heather
and damp grass

wanting to write
in the brown desert
you worry about the ducklings
the eggs cracking, the placentas

wanting to write
you lack rigidity
you let yourself go
crooked, fractured
in the wash-house like a stage set
over its dark edges you
send your working cries

wanting to write
your body is laughing
you survive and emerge
with rotary blades
whirring at your heels........

And another "To Do", remember to collect together all my "bits" of writing and poetry and keep in one place, so I can "Find" them!

Moving On .......

Today I cancelled my typepad account. Have been there since March 2005. I've taken a few months to actually get to do it, now all the posts have been printed and the time had come. It's an end. Sat in front of my computer, pulled up the account page, and then went to make a cup of coffee before I clicked on the Cancel button.

At least now I won't feel too guilty if I don't blog so much. So that's some of my guilt out of the way, and another thing ticked on my to do list.


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