Ainelivia

Be Yourself.............

2012-02-05T21:55:00.001Z

How many times have you heard it said; or said it yourself? Put this way, it is, self-explanatory..... you don't need to stop and wonder how to be yourself, there is only one you...............

New Kid on the Blog - Sophie Megan Davies

2012-01-12T16:42:00.002Z

Sophie Megan Davies has just posted her first post on her first blog. To Find her click here.

One of Sophies sculptural pieces

Merry Christmas To All

2011-12-22T13:10:00.000Z

St Patricks Cathedral Dublin - Ciaran McGahon

Journal Lost.............. Journal Found

2011-12-08T12:08:00.001Z

My journal goes everywhere with me... and each one gets a new cover so they are quite different and I can't miss them... but oh gawd, as I've just discovered... I can lose them..

Got up yesterday, going for a long walk, to walk off the birthday excessess, first check my bag, phone, money, bus pass, and journal... not in my bag, What!!!! Not on my desk... not in the living-room, not nowhere.... picture a panic.

Well it's good way to get myself going, I was out and sitting outside local cafe having a coffee by 8.50 am. Just ran into M and S to check I hadn't left it there, no, nothing in their lost and found. So armed with caffeine and a moment for pause, but feeling bereft without my trusty journal to scribble in, I sat....... was it the caffeine? or just the pause? It came to me, yesterday I had popped into Smiths for something and I have a visual image of me, journal in hand, trying to manage my purchases with one hand, and bag in other and journal, and I had put it down whilst I paid.

Just finished my coffee as the shutters in Smiths were being raised. So I ran in and immediately the guy who had served me yesterday raised his hand and said, "I think I have something that belongs to you", and with his free hand he reached under the counter and produced my Journal. I wanted to hug him, so overjoyed was I.

...... and no am not even going to reflect on "what if" the contents of my journal have been read or some of my less than generous observations ( I have made generous ones too) of my fellow Millhillians have been posted to YouTube.... my journal is now back with me....

My Brother the Actor

2011-11-09T12:43:00.000Z

In September, Dunshaughlin held a Festival. Here are some photos of my brother in his role as judge in a reenactment of 18th centrury court proceedings. And the last two not sure what role he was in there.

Ralph Centre

Ralph the presiding judge

Ralph in court

Ralph on the left

Fabric Cover for Sketch Book

2011-10-09T13:12:00.002+01:00

Two Brothers

2011-08-22T16:09:00.000+01:00

It is not often that my cats sit still long enough for me to photograph them. Dim Sum in particular is camera shy. So this week end when I was reading they came into the room and perched on the windowsill and luckily my camera was to hand.

Dim Sum finally faces the camera.

Two Brothers survey the world.

What weapons do you keep in your bathroom in the event of a riot......

2011-08-10T13:40:00.001+01:00

It's Wednesday, in London so far we have had five days of riots, actually I'm not sure about the number and it doesn't really matter. What I've been thinking about is how living in a riot zone changes the way I think and feel. So you may think, she lives in an unaffected and leafy suburb, and nothing happenned there; well yes, that is true to some extent. Though a car was set on fire in Burnt Oak, which is less than two miles away, and an attempt was made to break into Edgware Shopping Centre, again about a mile from here, and rumours abound about attempts on our mega-mall Brent Cross.

Well here is a photo of implements in my bathroom, and no, they do not normally reside there.

When Chas returned from work on Monday evening, the riots had begun in Dalston, and we prepared our evening meal and watched events unfold on the news channels. As the evening went on he became more and more anxious, and really I couldn't understand why? To me it was obvious or it seemed so that the targets of the rioters were shops and shopping areas. It was when, just after nine o'clock that he went to the garage and returned with the implements that you see, that I thought, he is overreacting.

He didn't sleep much that night, and as a result of his constantly getting up at the slightest noise, I didn't sleep much either. I could feel his anxiety rising, and so was mine. So after a few hours sleep, I got up at six to let the cats out and have a cuppa. Standing in the kitchen gazing out at our peaceful garden, something slipped it's mooring in my memory banks, 1969.

Chas was living in Kuala Lumpur in 1969, (link to Wikipaedia page on the riot) when a Chinese-Malay political party won the elections. Some of the parties opponents declared Jihad, and riots ensued that were directed mainly at the Chinese population of the country. I recalled Charlie telling me how for a week they lived on the upper floor of his house, because there was random shooting into houses; how it was the kindness of a friend of his Father's, an officier in the Army and a Malay who brought food to their house. And the only weapon they had to defend themselves was Chas's Archery Bow, I realised that he was connecting back to this event in his life and imagining the worst.. when he woke I mentioned it, and we talked about it.

So I'm wondering how those caught up in and or affected by the worst of London's Riots will be feeling. Will this change their outlook on life? Will they ever feel safe again? Will they ever again want to live in a flat above a shop? Will they have the choice to decide where they want to live?

Kindle Cover - Handmade Customised MeMade

2011-08-08T12:32:00.001+01:00

... now that i've freed up time away from Frontierville on Facebook, my hands found something else to occupy them; my new handmade Kindle Cover, patchworked, padded and all mine own creation, think i might add a Button and elastic to close it... but for now here it is....

Some Days Are Just Good Days......

2011-07-05T17:07:00.001+01:00

Some Days Are Just Good Days...... these are the goodies that I picked up at a local charity shop for the princely sum of £10!!!

A Clock Kit that i can decorate, it's even got my name on the packaging so it was meant to be; a Stamping set for month, days, numbers and various squiggles; a pair of earrings that will when broken up make lovely bits to sew on my art journals; a Skirt of fabulous material with beads sewn on that is going to make lovely covers for my art journals; and a book of fairy tales beautifully illustrated by Jane Ray, that comes with four of her illustrations to frame. Oh and the quilt i photographed all this on is mine....

And news that my good friend Sian Williams-Davies has gotten a place to study for a B A in Architectural Glass at Swansea this September.

Some Days Are Just Good Days.......

Today's Charity Shop Finds

My Messy Side

2011-05-19T12:35:00.002+01:00

Over on Hanna's blog she recently posted about those "two sides" we all possess, the side we show to others, and the side that rarely gets aired on our blogs. So, just to show myself, as much as you, that I am completely human and messy; that I believe that out of chaos comes some kind of order, that chaos is a vital part of the creative process, here are some photos of my creative area. It's here that I mess around and try to create something out of my messy creative mind, filled with loads of ideas, that may or may not result in a finished piece of work.

my shelves, where all the stuff on my desk should soon return to!!!!

my desk a current thorn in my side cos it needs to be cleared!!

my worktop

Zen Relaxation - as demonstrated by Earl Gray

2011-04-29T14:54:00.000+01:00

How To Make: Faux Washi Tape

2011-04-13T13:23:00.002+01:00

Purchased Washi Tape

Washi Tape is Japanese masking tape, see photo 1. I purchased some of the real stuff from the US, however, with postage and import duty, it is very expensive. And so far I've found no UK source for Washi Tape.

Some time ago I found this blog post by Julie K on "How to make Faux Washi Tape". So recently I came across it again and decided to give it a go using blue and white masking tape, gesso, dye-based coloured ink pads and rubber stamps.

Photo 2: an upturned baking tin makes a surface to adhere the tape to while decorating.

Photo 3: Blue and White Masking Tape spread on the tin and covered with a light wash of Gesso.

Photo 4: Some of the stamps that I used to decorate the masking tape.

Photo 4a: These two stamps are cut up pieces of flip-flops using the sole surface as a stamp. The inspiration comes from Traci Bunkers book - Print and Stamp Lab. Link to Traci's Blog.

Photo 5: Masking Tape that has been stamped.

Photo 6: Finished Tape as a sampler page in art journal.

Photo 7: Close up of tape.

Help Save Our National Health Service

2011-03-12T08:31:00.000Z

Dear friends,

Have a look at this:
http://www.38degrees.org.uk/NHS-petition

I’ve just signed a petition to Save the NHS. Right now the government is rushing through plans which experts, and groups representing doctors and nurses, warn could break the NHS up and hand control to private health companies. It's also a huge waste of money at a time when funding is already squeezed with beds and wards being cut.

It worked when enough of us signed the petition against privatising England's forests. The more of us that sign up to Save the NHS, the more chance we have of winning. Please sign now:

http://www.38degrees.org.uk/NHS-petition

Thanks,
Carol

The iHanna Planner Way

2011-03-11T11:01:00.007Z

The Spine Decoration of Planner Cover

Since I saw this post on Hanna's blog, I knew it was the planner I wanted and needed. After searching the local stationary shops, I couldn't find a cardboard folder with a three cm spine so I used a plastic folder. And then I realised that it would be difficult to paste paper on the folder as a cover.... and a cover would be important to me. So since I'd already made fabric covers for journals, I thought hey, I can make a fabric cover for my planner.

So using my favourite cotton fabric, (for the outer cover Bomull from Ikea), I dyed it using Beetroot, I kid you not it give a wonderful faded shabby pink effect. Then I stamped it with various stamps, text, Frida Kahlo, and trees. And then iron with as hot an iron as possible without scorching the fabric, that's important! Next step, add a flat wadding and inner lining and sew.

Templates for the diary pages and notes came from the DIY Planner website. I used the weekly planner pages (blank - no dates) as my actual diary pages, and the monthly planner pages. There are also some useful notes pages, for the other sections I will putting in the planner. It's such a flexible idea, and it means that I can add pages or take page out when the need arises. Later am going to add Tab Dividers for Notes, Projects, etc. So three cheers for Hanna who comes up with wonderful creative ideas and inspiration so often that it is sometimes hard to keep up.

Inside Front Cover Fold which creates a pocket

Notes Pages for Notes, Projects etc

Front of Cover

Diary Pages

Tab Dividers of Diary

Year Planner

A Photo A Day - From My Photo Blog

2011-02-17T16:44:00.001Z

Ainelivia - The Way I See It

Happy (Bloggers) Valentines Day

2011-02-14T10:40:00.003Z

Paper Fabric Heart

Visit my PhotoBlog - The Way I See It - click this Link

I Come From A Land ...... just over there to the left.....

2011-02-12T11:38:00.000Z

Yes, before anyone points out the obvious, I do come from Ireland, a land where statues are often reported to Cry, Move, and Bleed. No sightings have yet been reported of statues eating a McDonalds or sipping a Latte. But you never know.

So when I noticed the shape of the candle drippings on my coffee table after Christmas I put it away carefully, because it reminded me of something but I just couldn't think what, at the time. Yesterday it suddenly came to me. So the first image is what the form reminds me of and the second the candle drippings themselves. Is it just me?

My Christmas Candle Drippings

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T12:13:00.002Z

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

2010-12-23T16:17:00.001Z

Happy Christmas Everyone

Fabric Paper Christmas Tree Heart

Charity Shop Finds

2010-11-19T12:55:00.004Z

Had a bumper week last week, found these four books in local charity shops on the Broadway. The first three are all quilting related; the Grandmothers quilt book includes muslin templates. The Pippi Longstocking, is a boxed Oxford edition with wonderful illustrations by Lauren Child (author and illustrator of Charlie and Lola). These four books cost £15. A long way from the £70 they would have cost new, and all are in really good condition.

Three Quilting Books

Pippi Longstocking

One of the wonderful Lauren Child illustrations for Pippi Longstocking

An Autumn Walk - Mill Hill Village

2010-11-12T10:47:00.001Z

Autumn Woods

Mill Hill School

Mill Hill School grounds

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Rosebank - The Quaker Meeting House

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St Paul's Ridgeway - Wilberforce Church

Old Timbered Houses

A Red Telephone Box

Old Mill Hill Post House

Mill Hill Village Park looking toward the Wembley Stadium

A Day In The Life.........Pay Extra for No Visible Pantyline - I kid you not!!!!

2010-10-07T10:39:00.003+01:00

Just popped in to my local M&S foodstore for a few things, when I remembered that I need a five pack of underwear. So carrying full basket, I trundle to that section. Why is it that the size I want is never immediately to hand. Dum, dum, dum ah there's one, size .... - you don't need to know that - grab and throw in basket. Off to the checkout.

There I am packing food into the bag that I've dutifuly brought, when I see the readout, £12... what? there's nothing in there costs that much. "Sorry, how much is that", I say". "£12" replies the checkout lady, holding up the underwear packet.

"£12!!!", says me. "For plain bog standard black panties? Are you sure??" She holds the packet out towards me and moves closer to, with a look thrown over her shoulder at the waiting queue.

"You see Madam", she says despite the fact she knows me, "These are the VPL Tactel ones". For a moment I thought she said tactile. What M&S are now selling Ann Summer? I guess I looked none the wiser. So she leans even closer and utters as near to a whisper as she can manage.

"These are No Visible Pantyline and made from super soft fabric". Ah, yes I have heard of "No Visible Pantyline" somehwere before, but up to now I've never bothered. And all I wanted was M&S bog standard panties in black that I have been buying for years, cost about £8. £4 extra pounds for a No Visible Pantyline. Hmmmmm.

Oh what the hell. Ok I say, and she smiles that "you didn't know what NVP" was, when really it was the Tactel pronounced tactile that really threw me, that and the price. And I just want to get out of there. There is now a queue backing up all the way to the shelves with very curious looks on their faces.

Note to self, never buy underwear from the food store again.

Time for Tea

2010-08-11T11:47:00.001+01:00

Never made a tea-cosy in my life. Now here's two that I've made, the semi-circle one for the Craftastic Swappers Swap.

An Earl Gray Box Takeover

2010-07-22T12:00:00.003+01:00

All it has to be is a box. Any box. Leave it out for long enough and I will surely find a cat curled up in it. See what I mean.

Moth Eaten Clouds - A iHanna Collage

2010-07-12T13:03:00.001+01:00

Today a collage I got from iHanna arrived. On Hanna's blog the collage looked really nice framed in an IKEA Ribba frame. So after ordering Hanna's collage last week, I ventured out to IKEA in Wembley to get my frame. But IKEA are having their sale, and had no stock of Ribba, though they assured me that they would get more, they could not say when. So though I did return home with some goodies from IKEA, especially their Cinnamon Buns, I didn't have my frame.

So when the collage arrived this morning, I remembered that I had made some papier-mache frames which I'd not yet used and wondered if the collage might fit in one. Unfortunately, it doesn't, so I might just tape it to the back of the frame temporarily until more Ribba's arrive. To get the collage to fit in this frame, I'd have to cut down the backing, and there is a wonderful spray paint effect outside the collage itself which I don't want to lose.

The Daily Photo 2010: 11 - Union Church - Then and Now

2010-06-19T10:12:00.004+01:00

Union Church Mill Hill

There once was a very pretty church at the A41 end of Mill Hill. During last January's snowfall I took a picture of it.

A few months later I walked past it to find it was now a building site. Wonder what they'll put in it's place? Tesco? Aldi?

Union Church Now

METTA ZINE No:1 by Hanna Andersson

2010-06-08T10:21:00.001+01:00

Hanna's Metta-Zine arrived in a beautiful packet she had created from wallpaper I think. What a joy to find this lovely packet in my post box. If you haven't discovered Hanna yet, visit her blog at iHanna's Creative Space. It is a treasure-blog full of wonderful ideas and inspiration. And you can buy some of iHanna's wonderful work at her Etsy-Shop.

In Metta-Zine No: 1: Art Journalling Love, Hanna writes about art-journalling; what it means to her, how she began, the blocks to creative work, the joys of discovery through experiment. I was drawn immediately to two chapters entitled: Fear and Hesitation, (I know these two well); and Ugly is not Bad, (which speaks to my control-freaking perfectionist streak). All that Hanna writes in her zine I know about from my own perspective, though now to have someone speak about their difficulties and joys in creating helps me to understand that I am not alone. And that even as Hanna says, "Ugly wants to come out and play too. Let it out". (p.19) This is liberating idea.

One of the elements of Metta Zine I found delightful and tactile, is that Hanna has incorporated sewing into the construction of her zine, which gives the work a very special feel.

The Daily Photo 2010 - 10 - Spring Blossom

2010-05-04T13:29:00.003+01:00

Craftastic Swappers - No: 1 - Superheros

2010-02-20T21:07:00.002Z

Craftastic Swappers is organised by Cyndi. the first swap's theme "Superhero's" has almost been completed. These are photos of my swap, a notebook cover. the cover is made from Laura Ashley fabric which I've had for thirty years now.

Photos 1 & 2 Notebook cover. Made a label from the selvedge of fabric and sewed inside.

Photos 3 & 4 Cover and Notebook wrapped in japanese wrapping cloth.

Photo 5 Notebook and cover.

Photo 6 All packaged and about to be posted.

Artists Trading Cards

2010-01-10T11:30:00.001Z

Also posted on Lettice Leaf's Handmade Blog.

The Daily Photo 2010 - 9 - Window Christmas Decorations

2010-01-09T10:17:00.000Z

The Daily Photo 2010 - 8 - Mill Hill School Park

2010-01-08T10:10:00.000Z

The Daily Photo 2010 - 7 - Mill Hill in the Snow

2010-01-07T09:47:00.000Z

Just playing around with my photo program to see what it can do. First photo is enhanced and second photo is as taken. Not sure I can see much difference.

The Daily Photo 2010 - 6 - Snow and Tree

2010-01-06T18:05:00.001Z

The Daily Photo 2010 - 5 - Mill Hill Cricket Pavilion

2010-01-05T18:01:00.000Z

The Daily Photo 2010 - 4 - Snow in the Alley

2010-01-04T17:51:00.000Z

One of the alleys around here that are short cuts between streets, and normally are unremarkable transformed by snow.

The Daily Photo 2010 - 3 - Snow People and Families

2010-01-03T17:40:00.000Z

The local children have been enjoying the snow and creating snow people and snow families.

The Daily Photo 2010 - 2 - Mill Hill Roundabout

2010-01-02T17:32:00.002Z

Even the busy roundabout on the A41 looks like Narnia today.

The Daily Photo 2010 - 1 - Washing Line as Art

2010-01-01T17:28:00.000Z

Snow changes everything into something magical.

Handmade Christmas - Sian Williams Davies

2009-12-31T17:22:00.002Z

There's something special about handmade. And here's the christmas card that Sian sent us. Need to find a frame for it.

Christmas Cheer 2009

2009-12-24T17:42:00.008Z

Christmas in The Butchers Window

2009-12-23T17:57:00.000Z

Our local Butcher's passion is sailing, you'd never guess would you?

The Daily Photo - 15 - Buddha in Snow

2009-11-09T10:57:00.000Z

The Daily Photo - 14 - Handmade Notebook Cover

2009-11-08T13:35:00.006Z

The Daily Photo - 13 - Dim Sum has a thing for bags

2009-11-07T13:22:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 12 - Page from my Art Journal

2009-11-06T13:19:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 11 - Art Journal

2009-11-05T13:15:00.000Z

The Daily Photo - 10 - The Plant "In It's Own Write"

2009-11-04T13:11:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 9 - John Lennon behind the Plant

2009-11-03T13:07:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 8 - Dim Sum always finds the softest places

2009-11-02T13:04:00.000Z

The Daily Photo - 7 - Early Gray just checking his emails

2009-11-01T12:38:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 6

2009-10-31T00:07:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 5 - Autumn

2009-10-30T09:12:00.002Z

The Daily Photo - 4 - A Quick Lunch

2009-10-29T11:05:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 3 - Traffic Warden

2009-10-28T11:01:00.001Z

The Daily Photo - 2 - Waiting for the Bus

2009-10-27T10:56:00.000Z

The Daily Photo - 1- Village Green

2009-10-26T07:10:00.002Z

Mill Hill Village Green

Eleri's Kit Bag

2009-10-25T13:22:00.001Z

Old denim skirts come in really handy when I was asked to make a kit bag for Eleri. And I haven't forgotten my embroidery skills either.

Lost, Now Found; and one Long-Legged Cat

2009-09-23T11:06:00.017+01:00

Going through my fabric boxes stash, found some unfinished pieces that I had worked on almost two years ago and folded away and forgotten about. So, wondering now if I'll incorporate them into a quilt or make cushion covers.

The first photo, the unfinished Long-legged Cat, is inspired by Jude Hill's Cats at Spirit Cloth. Go take a look at Jude's wonderful work.

Also posted on Lettice Leaf

through my eyes

2009-09-21T12:14:00.001+01:00

Cleaning out my little plastic greenhouse, I came across newspapers and magazines I had placed there to give my fledgling plants some warmth in the frosty months.

This particular magazine cover which had insulated some seed pottings, caught my eye. Time, humidity, water, insects, and heat had eaten away at the cover and created this lacy collage or at least it seems that way to me.

Down My Street - A Plea From The Heart

2009-08-19T15:49:00.010+01:00

With the summer holidays here, the local children play in the street. Living in a cul de sac makes that relatively safe. Yesterday I found this poster stuck to a lamp post as I went to the shops. The poster reads:

"Lost Scooter Number 43 plz 2 give back."

Love the way children these days utilise texting language; suppose that's how the language evolves. So far no news of lost Scooter, has he been returned? Maybe we shall never know.

Abbey Road 8th August 2009

2009-08-08T09:12:00.010+01:00

On the 8th August 1969 the Beatles crossed the Abbey Road zebra crossing. Today, at 11.35 am on the Zebra Crossing outside the Abbey Road Studios will be a celebration of 40 years since the Beatles were photographed here.

Abbey Roads live webcam will record the event, and here's the link. You might just see me.

New Blog Banner

2009-08-07T16:55:00.002+01:00

Hurrah, finally.... at last. I figured out a way to create the blog banner I want, a spread from my art journal, with cutout letters to create the blog name.

Chartier - The Best Restaurant in Paris

2009-08-05T13:07:00.002+01:00

Found this by accident on Youtube. This is the first restaurant I went to in Paris, then it was something of a well-kept secret, not so sure about now. This is much better than just a photo.

Fruits of the Highways, Byways, and Alleys

2009-08-04T11:00:00.008+01:00

There's a bumper crop of Blackberries waiting to be foraged in our local lanes this year. I think I'll make jam.

From Brownie 127 to Panasonic Digital

2009-08-02T11:59:00.016+01:00

The first camera I used was a Brownie 127, bakelite, oval shaped and basic. since then I've had a few cameras, all of course film cameras. Yesterday, looking through my computer photo gallery, there were over 3,000 photos, and not one of them have I had developed or printed.

In some ways technology is wonderful, in some it's not the same. I can recall the days of film, when I took photos and then had them developed; the excitement of opening the envelope and wondering if they had emerged as a I imagined them or not. And often it was, not. Now I can take photos, delete them there and then if I don't like them.

Here are some of my 3,000; photos of some of my favourite subjects, snow and one of my cats. The cat in this photo, Earl Gray has just seen snow for the first time. You can tell by the expression on his face. I imagine that what he's thinking is "where are those socks she said she'd knit me"

Sarah's Graduate Show

2009-07-15T20:03:00.003+01:00

Some of the photos I took of Sarah's Graduate Show in Chelsea a few years back. The shapes are amazing and so wonderful to photograph. Sarah's work can be seen on her website. Sarah K McGahon Millinery

Angharad - In Memory

2009-07-01T11:47:00.000+01:00

Angharad, my dearest friend, died yesterday peacefully with her family around her. In 2008 when she was diagnosed, I wrote this blog post, A Wish: A Summer Holiday, Birthdays and Christmas. Her wish was granted. I miss and will miss my friend forever.

These past months have been a process of letting go, for Angharad, and those of us around her. Yesterday, quite by accident I came across this poem on Katie Kendrick's Joyously Becoming blog, with Katie's permission I am quoting it here.

Walking in the woods
slowly surrendering into You
your eyelids flutter immense skies opening
a reflection of our light and rain.
young budded vines grass the yearning
with compassion
evoking every blade with the promise of passage
to the sun, and dreams that float
on bright green wings.
A sea bird calls
the river endlessly recedes
enduring, bending, reflecting
singing its eternal song on the beauty of
letting go, letting go, letting go.

Katie Kendrick

Eleri's Quilt

2009-06-18T20:42:00.001+01:00

A quilt of scrap pieces made for my niece Eleri.

Finding......comes before doing and reading. And a poem

2009-04-14T10:05:00.000+01:00

Speaking of To Do lists. Mine seem to begin with "Find" at the moment. Last week reading iHanna's post about trying to let go of her blog and get some real writing done; a thought suddenly flashed through my mind that somewhere, there's a poem I wrote, a long time ago, about wanting to write. I know it's on a sheet of paper, but where is that sheet of paper?

My visual memory throws up a flash that it was once a folded bookmark in Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones. Ah. Maybe. But where's that book now? So before I forget, I put it on the to do list. And then there's the voucher for a free Massage that I need before I go on holiday. Add that to the list. Ah, yes and those two cakes I need to bake, but where is that wonderful recipe book that came free with the newspaper? So much to find, before I get to "To Do".

So I sat down to read a book; really getting into it I was, and then images flash into my mind. Writing Down the Bones is right on the top of the book shelf, and the Baking Book is under a pile of cookery books in my kitchen. Dropped riveting book and went immediately to find my lost "sheep". And there they were.

Now what do "I Do" first, bake or cancel? Or "find" the massage voucher? Or write.....

Here's the poem that's on that poor piece of paper.

Wanting to Write....

Wanting to write

you've a feeling of 49 percent

the prompting of guilt

wanting to write

you're hanging suspended

in silence before thunder

your don't breathe and you can't hear

wanting to write

you go for the warmth of wood

in the familar kitchen

carpeted with heather

and damp grass

wanting to write

in the brown desert

you worry about the ducklings

the eggs cracking, the placentas

wanting to write

you lack rigidity

you let yourself go

crooked, fractured

in the wash-house like a stage set

over its dark edges you

send your working cries

wanting to write

your body is laughing

you survive and emerge

with rotary blades

whirring at your heels........

And another "To Do", remember to collect together all my "bits" of writing and poetry and keep in one place, so I can "Find" them!

Moving On .......

2009-04-14T09:39:00.000+01:00

Today I cancelled my typepad account. Have been there since March 2005. I've taken a few months to actually get to do it, now all the posts have been printed and the time had come. It's an end. Sat in front of my computer, pulled up the account page, and then went to make a cup of coffee before I clicked on the Cancel button.

At least now I won't feel too guilty if I don't blog so much. So that's some of my guilt out of the way, and another thing ticked on my to do list.

Make Mail Fun - Recent Mail Art

2009-02-20T17:50:00.002Z

Laptop Bag

2008-12-01T17:40:00.001Z

Recently found this photo of laptop bags (left) and thought hmm.... I can make one of those. So I gave it a try and below is the result.

A Wish: A Summer Holiday, Birthdays, and Christmas

2008-02-22T13:17:00.001Z

Just over six weeks ago my best friend said she wasn't feeling well. As a health professional, she is in her own words "the worst kind of patient". A visit to the Doctor revealed that there was a growth in her abdomen, and tests were ordered. A CT Scan showed a growth in the pancreas. More tests, and a biopsy revealed a tumour involving the Mesenteric Artery and Vein. Inoperable, though she would be given chemotherapy.

In the middle of all this she asked me if she could stay with us at half-term. She wanted to visit London Zoo and the Tower of London with her husband and daughter. She wanted her daughter to have these memories of her Mother.

Still I held out some hope, if not of a cure, then time, more time. Stunned at the speed of the diagnosis and prognosis, and my friend's own gut instinct that nothing could be done. Of the finality in her voice when, after another meeting with doctor and consultant she declared, "I'm screwed".

My first reaction, and that of many around her, was, she's giving in. What about a second opinion? What about America, suggested another friend where more advanced treatments are more available?

Then through many conversations with my friend I began to understand her wishes and needs for the time she does have, and I stopped clutching at straws. She hopes for a year. In that time, she will have a summer holiday with her husband and daughter, birthdays and Christmas. Those are her hopes, and what she doesn't want is to spend the time she has "chasing rainbows", using up the time and energy she has in and out of hospitals.

No longer do I inwardly protest her fatalistic attitude. This is her life and her time. This is what she needs. I'm going with that.

Can I say I'm accepting? I'm not sure, but I'll do the best I know how.

What I ask of you, who visit, drop in, or find this place by accident, is that you hope with me, that my dearest friend, my soul sister, is granted her wish, her "two ounces of bliss", as Patry Francis writes. Prayers, candles, chanting, good vibrations, thoughts and anything that you wish , is welcome and I thank you for it.

My friends name is Angharad, she is Eleri Mai's mother and wife of Wayne. And we all visited 100 Aker Wood together in my previous post.